For years, a powerful mystical force stalked the halls of Searcy High School, a force widely known as Doc Watson’s beard. Recently that powerful force has been incoherently altered.

“Every once in a while, maybe every year or so, I decide to just shave most of it off and start over. So I finished the season and decided it was time for the great shave.”  said English teacher Miles Watson.

Only a fraction of his once mighty beard remains, most of it was put on the chopping block.

“I think I scared a few people when the pictures were posted on Twitter,” said Watson. “I cut off about six inches, but some people were afraid I lost the beard all together. I haven’t completely shaved off my beard in a very long time, probably not since my kids were born.”

 

The ripple effect and widespread trauma of the loss was inevitably massive.

“Since the event I have not been able to eat or sleep,” said sophomore Emily Woodell. “I’ll never be the same.”

We have all felt the weight of this sorrowful loss, but in all truth there doesn’t have to be any real fear.

“We are getting close to No Shave November; it might be time for the full beard to return,” stated Watson.

Renowned english teacher, Steve Snow thinks that there might be need for manly compensation after the loss of his beard.

“He needs a black motorcycle with high handlebars. He needs a huge leather jacket with no sleeves. He even needs a huge tattoo saying that ‘I have the right to bear arms’ or ‘I love your mother’, something like that,” said Snow.

Despite the fact that his beard is nowhere near what it once was, no one can dispute that he still has some serious beard-age.